


practice makes confusion

by cuddlypcy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minor Angst, OT9 (EXO), briefly mentioned baekhyun/kyungsoo, exo 2015/2016, non-au, vague smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlypcy/pseuds/cuddlypcy
Summary: chanyeol needs to practice for his kissing scene and jongin just happens to be there. feelings ensue.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	practice makes confusion

**Author's Note:**

> this is set (mainly) in 2015-2016 when chanyeol was filming the “so i married my anti-fan movie”

"jongin, i need you to kiss me!"

jongin swears he gets whiplash at how fast he turns his head to where chanyeol has walked into the room.

"what the fuck, hyung?" he asks.

"i need to practice for my movie and there's a kiss scene so i need you to kiss me," chanyeol explains, staring at him as if _he's_ the crazy one.

"why me?" jongin asks.

"because you're here?" he says. "i don't see what you're confused about here."

"you want to kiss me, hyung."

"no, i need you to kiss me so i can practice."

"there's 7 other people you could ask in this dorm so why do you want me?"

"again, you're here. the others are somewhere else."

jongin is still looking at chanyeol like he's grown another head and chanyeol is looking at him the exact same way.

"you know you could just walk outside, yell 'i need someone to kiss me' and you'd have thousands of girls lining up," jongin says.

"yeah, which would be incredibly dangerous for the group so why not have someone i know and am friends with kiss me in the private of our dorm?" chanyeol says. "just one short, quick kiss."

"why don't you go and kiss baekhyun hyung or something?" jongin asks.

"i don't think kyungsoo would appreciate that." jongin agrees with that, kyungsoo would skin chanyeol alive if he tried to kiss his (not so) secret crush.

"well, there's other people here, too," jongin tries.

"jonginnie, can't you just help me out?" chanyeol whines. "it'll just be a short, gentle kiss, i promise."

"i don't know, hyung..." he says. "won't it be weird between us afterwards?"

"no, it won't! you'd just be helping me out with my acting! i've never kissed someone on screen before and i'm worried i might be bad at it. i promise i won't be weird towards you."

jongin sighs, mulling over his options. if it's just to help him practice for a movie then it shouldn't be too difficult, right? they're just friends, it's not like anything is going to happen from it. jongin's straight anyway. friends kiss sometimes.

but on the other hand, chanyeol is one of his best friends _and_ they're in a group together. if everything goes weird between them it could ruin their career and they would get in a lot of trouble.

"jongin," chanyeol says, breaking jongin out of his thoughts.

"okay, fine," he finally agrees. "one kiss but that's it."

chanyeol's face lights up and he cheers, thanking jongin over and over again. he runs out of the room to get his script which gives jongin a few seconds to hit himself for accepting something so strange.

when chanyeol runs back in, he hands jongin a script, grinning at him.

"thank you for helping me," he says.

"yeah, no problem," jongin says. chanyeol tells him what page to open to then turns to him with a questioning glance. jongin nods and chanyeol reads his first line. jongin only has one line and once he says it, he waits for wherever is coming next.

his breath hitches when chanyeol reaches out and places a hand on jongin's cheek. he closes his eyes immediately, not wanting to look at chanyeol when they kiss, and waits for the impact. the first press of their lips together has jongin's brain halting, he was not fully ready for it. at first just their lips are touching but then chanyeol opens his mouth and presses firmer into jongin. jongin doesn't know why but he finds himself following, moving his lips with chanyeol's.

the kiss was only supposed to last a few seconds but neither make any effort to stop and the kiss slowly begins to heat up. chanyeol's hand slides down to jongin's neck and he brings their faces closer, introducing his tongue with a flick against jongin's bottom lip. jongin's weary but his brain persuades him he wants chanyeol's tongue in his mouth so he opens up to let him in. he shifts in his seat at the pleasure that's beginning to bubble in his lower stomach until he's finally had enough and plants himself in chanyeol's lap without breaking the kiss. chanyeol's hands slide down to grip at his ass and he can't help the groan he lets out into the taller's mouth. he slides his hand's into chanyeol's hair and tugs on the strands, causing chanyeol to gasp into the kiss.

"fuck, jongin," he whispers. his hands begin to knead jongin's ass cheeks which brings their hips to slowly rock against each other. there's a small voice in the back of jongin's mind that's shouting at him to stop and how wrong what they're doing is but he ignores it. chanyeol's lips feel so nice against his.

it's not until the front of his jeans rub against chanyeol's forcefully and he feels how hard they both are that he yanks himself away.

"uh... that didn't happen," he says dumbly, his kiss-swollen lips obviously saying the opposite.

"come back," chanyeol says, reaching out for jongin's hand. he tries to pull the younger back onto his lap but jongin's feet won't move.

"i'm not gonna lie," a voice says from behind them, "that was pretty hot."

jongin spins around and his mouth drops when he sees the other 7 boys watching them.

"that-... i was just-..." "jongin was helping me practice for my movie," chanyeol says, saving jongin from further embarrassment.

"looked like more than practicing to me," kyungsoo says, eyebrow raised.

"n-no, it wasn't," jongin says.

"isn't your kiss supposed to be like 5 seconds long?" baekhyun asks. "you were kissing for like 10 minutes."

jongin's beyond embarrassed already but when the other members start laughing he just runs into his bedroom and buries himself under his blanket. he's still painfully hard in his boxers so he forces himself to think about gross things until it's finally wilted away.

he hears his bedroom door open so he buries deeper to make sure none of him is seen.

"nini," he hears junmyeon call. knowing he's safe with the leader, he pops his head out and junmyeon walks over, sitting on the bed beside him.

"what was that?" he asks.

"hyung i swear he just asked me to practice with him," jongin says. "we somehow got carried away, i don't know what happened."

"you both seemed very into it," junmyeon says, running his fingers through jongin's hair.

"it was just a kiss," jongin says firmly. "i was just helping him, it means nothing."

——

well, at least that's what he tries to convince himself when chanyeol corners him the next day and kisses him again. it takes jongin by surprise so his mouth is wide open against chanyeol's which coaxes the latter to slide his tongue in again. the lust in jongin's mind finally takes over and he slides his arms around chanyeol's shoulders to kiss him back. chanyeol's arms wrap around jongin's waist and he tugs their bodies closer together, gently pressing jongin against the kitchen wall. chanyeol slides his tongue out of jongin's mouth just to envelop his bottom lip between his and tug on it. jongin moans into chanyeol's mouth, hands gripping at the baby hairs on the back of his neck.

"okay, that's enough you two," baekhyun says, reaching his hands between the two of them to push them apart. "whatever is going on with you two needs to be sorted out because i do not want to walk into every room of this house and see you sucking each other's faces off."

jongin refuses to look at either of them as he runs out, face bright red. he can't believe chanyeol just forced himself onto him. sure he didn't mind when he had a tongue down his throat but he promised it would only be a one time thing and he lied. but what bothers him more is the fact that he liked it. he shuts himself up in his room, burying himself as deep into his mattress as he possibly can, meaning he doesn't hear chanyeol walk in.

"jongin?" said man asks.

"go away," jongin croaks.

"no, i think we need to talk," chanyeol says. jongin sighs but exits his blanket fort and sits up against his headboard with a huff.

"why do you keep kissing me, chanyeol?" he asks.

"what, you're not even going to call me 'hyung' anymore?" chanyeol teases. jongin glares at him in response so he sighs and moves to sit beside jongin. "i honestly don't know why i keep doing it. it's just that that first kiss was so good and i wanted to see if it would feel the same if i did it again."

"did it?" jongin asks, not really knowing if he wants to hear the answer.

"yes," chanyeol replies truthfully. "i like kissing you, jonginnie."

jongin lets out a deep breath, puffing his cheeks up as he does, before nodding. "okay," he says. "i don't quite know what to say about that."

chanyeol's quiet for a few seconds before asking: "did you like kissing me?"

"i-... did... but i don't know what that means," jongin replies. "do i like you? yes, as a friend. am i attracted to you? not that i know of. you're a really good kisser, i don't know what else to say."

"i understand," chanyeol says. he's silent again for a couple of seconds, opening and closing his mouth as if deciding what to say, then sighs. "i should tell you that i am attracted to you."

"you are?" jongin is pretending to be calm at the news but in reality his brain is screaming out in confusion.

"yes. i have been attracted to you for a while now and while i do need to practice for my movie, i also wanted to find a way to kiss you."

"so you forced yourself on me because you wanted to kiss me?"

"that wasn't my plan, but i'm sorry if you feel that's what i did. i just wanted to do it once and i won't do it again if you don't want me to."

"i honestly don't know what i want, hyung," jongin admits. chanyeol nods in understanding and holds a hand out to jongin, which the younger hesitantly takes. chanyeol links their fingers together and brings them to rest on his thigh.

"it's okay that you don't," he says. "honestly i don't either. i am attracted to you and i do have feelings for you but i know that is not a good thing for the group. as much as i want to be something with you, it probably isn't the safest thing."

jongin nods, surprisingly feeling vaguely upset at chanyeol's words. he knows what chanyeol said is true, it is very dangerous for them to be in any kind of relationship, and he doesn't even know if that's what he wants anyway. he's never been in this position before, he has no idea what to do. all he knows at the moment is that he likes kissing chanyeol for some strange reason, and kind of wants to keep doing it.

"hyung, kiss me again," he says suddenly. chanyeol is obviously caught off guard as he just stares at jongin as if waiting for him to repeat what he said. so he does: "kiss me."

"are you sure?" chanyeol asks.

"yes," jongin replies. chanyeol nods and gently reaches out to cup jongin's cheek and bring their faces together. their lips meet and jongin immediately melts into it, bringing his hand up to grab chanyeol's wrist and keep him in place. chanyeol in turn tilts his head to the side, allowing their lips to move more fluidly together, and very quickly introduces his tongue. jongin eagerly flicks his own against it, groaning when chanyeol sucks on it then bites down on his lower lip. jongin, embarrassingly, feels himself beginning to harden in his jeans but tries to ignore it and focus on kissing chanyeol instead.

"come closer," chanyeol mumbles, tugging at jongin's shirt. the younger complies, easily slipping onto chanyeol's lap, knees bracketing his hips. the angle allows him to take control of the kiss a little so he shoves his tongue into chanyeol's mouth and licks along the roof of his mouth, revelling in the grunts chanyeol lets out. he slides his hands down chanyeol's chest and brings them to rest on his stomach, digging his fingertips in gently. chanyeol's hands slide around to rest on jongin's lower back and with that he pulls their bodies closer together, making their crotches rub together.

"hyu-hyung... too much," jongin whispers into the taller's lips. chanyeol pulls away from the kiss and looks down towards where jongin is sitting on him then back up to his face.

"you're hard, jonginnie," he says. "i could get rid of it for you."

it's a complicated proposition for jongin. on the one hand, he is extremely hard and would love to get rid of the problem, but on the other hand, it's chanyeol and that would be crossing a line that would make it hard to go back. chanyeol obviously seems to notice his dilemma so he cups jongin's cheek again and brings their faces together for another kiss. jongin sighs into his lips, wrapping his arms around chanyeol's neck again as he flicks his tongue along his bottom lip.

he pulls away after a few seconds and rests his forehead against chanyeol's before nodding.

"make it quick," he says. chanyeol nods and slides his hands to the front of jongin's jeans where he undoes the button and pulls the zipper down. he taps jongin's waist so the latter sits up to allow him to pull the jeans down enough to get to his briefs. to ignore the gnawing feeling in his stomach, he attaches his lips to chanyeol's again, immediately sliding his tongue in. chanyeol's fingers dip into jongin's underwear and jongin gasps when they wrap around his length, tugging once.

"fuck, hyung," he breaths out. chanyeol smirks and trails his lips down jongin's neck to his collarbone. he sucks on the skin, tugging it between his teeth, and jongin whines, threading his fingers into chanyeol's hair. chanyeol's hand speeds up on his cock but the slide is too dry so jongin pulls his hand out of his briefs and brings it up to his mouth. he spits into the palm of chanyeol's hand and pushes it back in to wrap around him again. the position of his hand is still awkward though so chanyeol pulls jongin's cock out of his underwear and resumes his quick movements. jongin keeps letting out short moans into chanyeol's mouth.

"are you close, jonginnie?" chanyeol asks.

"yes, hyung, please," jongin begs.

"please what, gorgeous?"

"faster, please."

"sure thing, baby." his hand speeds up even more and within seconds jongin is coming over chanyeol's hand and shirt. the hand on his cock continues to move until jongin pushes it away and flops against the taller's chest. he let himself lay here until his orgasm subsided and once it had, the weight of what they'd just done landed on him.

"oh, fuck," he whispered. he shoots off chanyeol's lap and tucks himself back into his underwear then tugs his jeans back up his legs.

"jongin, don't go," chanyeol says.

"no, this... this didn't happen and it won't happen again," jongin says. "let's never talk about this. i'm straight, you're one of my best friends, this is wrong."

he rushes out of the room, ignoring all of the boys who seemed to be waiting in front of the door, and leaves the dorm as fast as possible. he doesn't quite know where to go so he just heads off in a random direction, walking until he finds somewhere to stop. when he comes across the park near the dorm, he stops and sits down on the bench, hunching over to try and clear his mind. just a few seconds after he arrives, though, someone sits beside him and places their hand on his back. he looks to his side and groans when he sees kyungsoo and junmyeon staring at him.

"i don't want to talk about it," he says.

"we have to talk about it," junmyeon says.

"no."

"jonginnie, this is a big deal."

"no it's not!" he shoots off the bench and begins to pace in front of the other two. "it was a mistake. i was caught up in the moment and my brain was all fuzzy and i spoke without thinking. it's not going to happen again, there's no reason for it to happen again. it was a fluke."

"look i know you don't want to talk about this but jongin, you just let chanyeol give you a handjob. and you enjoyed it," kyungsoo says.

"i never said i enjoyed it," jongin disagrees.

"we heard you, jongin, you enjoyed it," junmyeon states blankly.

"shut up, just shut up! i can't even bear to think about this anymore! i just want to not talk about this for the rest of my life!" he sits back down on the bench and runs his hands through his hair before dragging them down his face. "it didn't happen, okay? just leave it."

"jongin-"

"i'm going for a walk so don't call me or anything. i'll be back eventually."

"you didn't bring a mask, jongin, you'll get noticed," kyungsoo says.

"i don't care, i just can't go back right now." he walks away, once again ignoring their calls for him, and continues to walk off in a random direction to clear his head.

——

when he finally gets back to the dorm, it's late and he expects everyone to already be asleep, so he's surprised when he sees chanyeol on the couch.

"my god," he mumbles, clutching at his chest in fright.

"where the hell have you been?!" chanyeol cries, jumping off the couch to grab jongin's arms. "we've been trying to reach you for almost 6 hours, we thought you were in trouble! don't ever pull such a stupid stunt again! i don't care how upset you are at me, don't run away like that!"

"leave me alone, chanyeol," jongin says, pulling himself out of the taller's grip. he tries to push past him but chanyeol grabs his wrist and tugs him back.

"talk to me, goddamn it," he growls.

"no."

"tell me what is wrong right now or i'll-"

"you'll what? what are you going to do to me, chanyeol? push me against the wall and stick your hand down my pants again?"

"don't try and put the blame on me, you asked me to! i made sure you were okay with it, so why the hell are you snapping at me?!"

jongin truly snaps then and shoves chanyeol into the wall, pinning him against it and standing inches away from him.

"you make me so fucking confused, that's why!" he shouts. "for the longest time you were just chanyeol, my best friend, then you kissed me and everything has been fucked up! you're such a fucking good kisser that it turns me on and i don't know how to handle it! i was caught up in my feelings when i told you to jerk me off and i regret it! i regret asking you to touch my cock because now i want you to do it again and i don't know how to handle those feelings! you're so fucking handsome and you're really good at handjobs and i'm confused!"

"jongin, get off him," he hears junmyeon warn. he turns his head to the sound of his voice and sees all 7 of the other members watching them.

"shut up, junmyeon," he snaps. he turns back to chanyeol and finally notices how terrified the man looks; like he thinks jongin is going to attack him.

"you don't get to confuse me like this then get all possessive over me. i am not yours, i will never be yours, leave me the fuck alone!" he's so angry he does the first thing he thinks of and punches the wall beside chanyeol's head. he hears the bones in his knuckle break but his adrenaline is so high he can't feel the pain.

"i-i'm sorry," chanyeol whispers, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. he slides out from between jongin's arms and rushes to his bedroom, locking the door behind him. jongin is still fuming, panting like a mad dog, but the feeling in his hand is starting to come back and it hurts like hell.

"i need to go to the hospital," he says. all of the other members look too scared to get anywhere near jongin but junmyeon finally steps up and grabs his car keys.

"come on then," he says. jongin thinks he hears jongdae whisper to junmyeon to be careful but he can't focus on anything but his hand. he and junmyeon get into the latter's car and he drives down to the private hospital they go to. jongin is seen right away and within 30 minutes his hand is in a cast and he's being sent home.

once back in the car, junmyeon starts it but doesn't start driving, instead turns to jongin.

"you cannot let your anger get that bad again," he warns. "you almost punched chanyeol in the face and that would have been terrible for his image. i don't care what you have going on with him but you cannot be selfish enough to almost injure him. figure your shit out on your own or i will lock you two in a room until you do. the group is way more important than your personal issues, remember that."

jongin nods and looks down at his hands, hating the feeling of being told off by the leader.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles.

"don't apologize to me, there's someone at the dorm that actually deserves an apology," junmyeon says. jongin knows he's right but he can't bear to face chanyeol yet. tomorrow, he tells himself. tomorrow morning he will find chanyeol and apologize.

——

it's not actually until the next afternoon that jongin works up the courage to talk to chanyeol. he knocks on the man's door and walks in when he gets the all clear. the second chanyeol sees it's him he stiffens, a frightened look on his face.

"relax, i'm not here to hurt you," he says. he walks into the bedroom and closes the door but stays pressed against it. "i just wanted to apologize. what i said to you yesterday was completely uncalled for and you did not deserve it. i don't always handle my anger in the best way and i misplaced it on you. i'm really sorry, chanyeol. really, really sorry. i promise i won't ever do that to you again and i know i don't deserve your forgiveness but i hope you might be able to one day."

chanyeol is silent as he takes in jongin's words and after a few minutes he gets off the bed and walks over to jongin. he reaches out for his broken hand and brings it up to his lips to kiss it.

"i know you're confused, but what you said really hurt me," he said.

"i know, it wasn't okay," jongin replies.

"then you almost punched me. i have never been so afraid of you and i never thought i would be. if you can really promise me it won't happen again then i can forgive you. we all do bad things when we're angry so i won't hold it against you."

"thank you, hyung, thank you so much," he cries. he wraps his arms around chanyeol's neck and pulls him in, hugging him tight against him. "i promise you i will never get that angry with you again. it was so wrong of me, i wish i could take it back."

"it's okay, jongin," chanyeol says, running his hand up and down jongin's back.

"it's not okay but thank you for being so nice," jongin says. when chanyeol pulls away, he takes jongin's non-broken hand in his and plays with his fingers.

"can i ask you something?" he asks.

"sure," jongin replies.

"did you mean what you said yesterday?"

"which part? i said a lot of things really fast."

"the part where you said that you'll never be mine and i should leave you alone?"

jongin's heart drops remembering the really horrible things he said, and shrugs. "i really don't know, hyung. of course i don't want you to leave me alone but i honestly don't know about the other part. i'm still confused and i don't know how to change that."

"that's okay," chanyeol says. "we can figure it out together if you want."

"that'd be nice."

"and i promise i won't kiss you or touch you without your permission. i want to help you out because i love you and would do anything for you."

"thank you, hyung." he hugs chanyeol again, burying his head in the taller's neck. "i really am sorry."

"i know, jongin, and it's okay," chanyeol says, scratching jongin's scalp lightly. it makes jongin melt in his arms and he closes his eyes, sighing as he relaxes into chanyeol's warmth.

"i love you, hyung," jongin whispers.

"i love you, too, jonginnie," chanyeol replies. "we'll figure this out."

——

the next few months of their lives are hectic. chanyeol is busy shooting his movie, the group is preparing for their next comeback, and everyone has their own individual schedules. all of the boys feel like they don't have any time for themselves, especially jongin. he and chanyeol haven't kissed since he exploded but he is still confused about his feelings for the elder. he wants to kiss chanyeol, he wants to hug chanyeol, he wants to do all of these things with chanyeol that he knows he shouldn't. he hasn't told anyone else about his feelings, he wants to figure things out for himself first.

everything is different now. whenever he sees chanyeol, his stomach is in knots. the elder can be doing absolutely nothing, just cooking himself some food, but jongin is mesmerized. the way his hyung's muscles flex under his clothes, the way his nose scrunches when he doesn't like something, the dimple on his cheek when he smiles. they're all things he'd noticed before but never paid attention to. he knows those aren't normal things to notice about one of your best friends but he does. it wasn't something that just happened overnight, either. he slowly began to realize that his feelings may be more than friendly, but he's not ready to act on them, yet. he needs to know for sure, he needs to sort things out with the object of his - infatuation?- himself.

it's not until chanyeol's done shooting his movie that the group finally get to have a few days off. some go to visit their families for the weekend but jongin has decided to stay at the dorm and practice.

while he's laying in bed one morning, his bedroom door opens and chanyeol enters the room. jongin watches as he walks over to jongin's bed and climbs in, wrapping himself up in the duvet and slinging an arm over jongin's waist.

"i'm tired," chanyeol mumbles, burying his head in jongin's neck.

"okay, hyung, sleep" jongin says. he places his phone down then slings an arm over chanyeol's shoulders, threading his fingers through the elder's hair. jongin scratches chanyeol's head until he falls asleep then turns back to his phone and continues to scroll through his social media.

when chanyeol wakes again, he shifts his head up so it's beside jongin's and smiles.

"i've missed you," he whispers.

"me, too, hyung," jongin replies. his eyes flicker down to chanyeol's lips and the taller freezes, his eyes following jongin's.

"jongin," he warns.

"kiss me," jongin whispers.

"that's not a good idea."

"please, i really want to kiss you." chanyeol sighs and jongin feels his stomach clench. he didn't even think about the fact that it may not be what chanyeol wants. maybe he doesn't want to kiss him anymore. maybe in the few months they didn't really see each other chanyeol got over whatever feelings he had for jongin. he drops his eyes from chanyeol's lips to his chest and shakes his head.

"never mind," he mumbles. he turns over so he's facing away from chanyeol and wraps his arms around himself. he hears chanyeol sigh again before a hand lays on his back and begins to rub circles.

"jongin, look at me," chanyeol says.

"no, i'm fine," jongin says. chanyeol's hand slides down to his side and he begins to wiggle his fingers on jongin's skin. jongin slaps his hand away but chanyeol puts it right back to tickle jongin's sides until he begins to laugh.

"chanyeol, stop," jongin whines.

"not until you talk to me," chanyeol says. he straddles jongin's hips and continues to tickle any part of jongin's body he can reach. it takes jongin physically grabbing chanyeol's wrists and pulling them away from him. it takes him a few seconds to calm down but when he does chanyeol cups his cheeks and leans down to kiss him. it takes jongin by surprise but he kisses back anyway, holding chanyeol's hands with his own.

they kiss softly for a few seconds before chanyeol pulls away to place a gentle kiss on his nose.

"i know what you were thinking and yes, i still like you," he says. "now, tell me why you were so upset."

"i honestly can't tell you," jongin sighs. "the thought that you didn't want to kiss me really hurt my feelings and i thought that maybe you didn't want to at all anymore."

"i will just ask you something. do you have feelings for me?"

jongin doesn't know how to answer at first. sure he wants to kiss chanyeol, sure he thinks he's begun to be attracted to chanyeol in a non 'no homo' way, sure he thinks he could probably have a relationship with the taller... oh, god. he likes chanyeol. he really has romantic feelings for him. sure he thought that he might but finally admitting it to himself really made it sink in. he likes chanyeol. a lot.

"yes," he whispers. "fuck, i do. i like you, hyung."

chanyeol grins and leans down to kiss jongin again, sliding his tongue along the younger's lip. jongin slides his hands up chanyeol's arms and down his sides until he reaches the hem of his shirt. he pushes his hands underneath chanyeol's shirt and brings them around to the front where he runs them up and down chanyeol's defined chest.

before the kiss goes too far, chanyeol pulls away and moves back so jongin can't reach him.

"you just figured out what you want so we are not doing anything more than kissing for a while, okay?" he says. jongin opens his mouth to protest but chanyeol shuts him up with his finger. "okay?"

"fine," jongin huffs. chanyeol slides off so he's lying beside him again and pokes his cheek.

"so, what are we? we need to figure out what to tell everyone."

"i don't know, i'm not sure if i'm ready for the 'boyfriend' label," jongin says as he turns to face chanyeol."

"that's totally fine," chanyeol says. "but we do need to tell everyone. if this is going to go anywhere they can't be kept in the dark."

"i know."

"and it's better if we do it soon."

"i know."

chanyeol climbs out of the bed and holds his hand out for jongin. jongin gets up and takes chanyeol's hand, letting him lead him out into the main living room where all of the other boys happen to be sitting.

"can we talk to you guys?" chanyeol ask. everyone turns to look at them and jongin immediately shuts down, choosing to hide behind chanyeol instead.

"what's up?" junmyeon asks, eyeing the two suspiciously.

"we wanted to tell you that jongin and i both have feelings for each other and we're going to see where it goes," chanyeol says, failing to hide the smile on his face. the other 7 boys turn their eyes to jongin and he nods, a blush beginning to form on his. he didn't think he'd be so embarrassed telling the group everything but admitting his feelings for chanyeol is definitely harder than he thought it would be.

"it's true," he says. "i realized, after not being able to see him much for a few weeks, that i really did have feelings for him. i don't know about the 'boyfriend' label yet, i'm not quite sure i'm ready for it, but i want to be with chanyeol and i know that. so we're going to try."

"i'm happy for you both, but i hope you've considered what this would mean for the group," kyungsoo says.

"it's not going to get out, we promise," jongin says.

"we know how dangerous that would be so we will keep it here only," chanyeol agrees.

"then we're all very happy for you," junmyeon says, grinning at the two. jongin can't help but smile so he hides his face in chanyeol's shoulder.

"can we go back to my room now?" he whispers in chanyeol's ear. the other nods and thanks the other members before taking jongin back to his bedroom where they cuddle under the duvet.

"i'm happy you gave me a chance," chanyeol says, rubbing his hand up and down jongin's back.

"i'm happy i finally figured out my feelings for you," jongin says. "i don't know how it'll turn out and i'm sorry to say that, but this is the first time i've had feelings for a guy and it's very confusing."

"i know, baby, i understand. as long as we both give our best then we'll be okay."

"good. i hope so." jongin cannot wait to figure out his relationship with the elder. with the way chanyeol is gently kissing his head and the way it makes jongin's heart and stomach flutter, he's positive it'll end well.

**—— epliogue ——**

it's jongin's 26th birthday and he's alone in rome. he hates that he's unable to be with the members, especially with what's happening with his jongdae hyung, but he has to be here for the gucci event. it's his first time being away from the members on his birthday in years and he misses them a lot. he misses chanyeol the most, though. he's been so busy he hasn't had much time to talk to his boyfriend but they're planning on videochatting before jongin sleeps and he can't wait.

once he's in bed, he turns his phone on and it immediately lights up that chanyeol is calling him. he smiles as he accepts, it turning into a grin when he sees his boyfriend's face pop up.

"happy birthday again, baby," chanyeol greets.  
"thank you," jongin replies. "i miss you."  
"i know, my love, i miss you, too. but you're back in a few days, right?"  
"i am. i can't wait to see you again."  
"me, too. i'll be waiting outside to pick you up."  
"good."

they chat for about an hour until jongin is too tired to stay awake any longer.

"i'll see you when you get back," chanyeol says.  
"i'm so excited, i can't wait to hug you and kiss you and fuck you," jongin teases. chanyeol scoffs but he has a very soft smile on his face.  
"i love you," he says.  
"i love you, too. see you soon."

he hangs up the call and rolls over on his back, still grinning. he can't believe he's finally gotten to the point where he can comfortably say he loves chanyeol. it took him a year to finally work up the courage to even admit it to himself then another to finally say it out loud. he and chanyeol have been dating for almost 4 years now and it's been amazing the whole time. he's never had feelings this strong for anyone before and it was so scary at first. but chanyeol has continuously showed jongin how much he loves him and it makes him feel better anytime he gets scared. he is so thankful that he has chanyeol in his life and he will never take him for granted.

——

when he finally lands back in seoul, he manages to sneak out of the airport and quickly finds chanyeol's car. he hops in as fast as he can and, knowing it won't be safe for any pda, chanyeol takes him back to their dorm immediately. they manage to hold hands on the way back, but as soon as they're in their dorm, chanyeol pins jongin against the front door and kisses him deep and sensual. jongin moans throatily into the kiss, gladly opening his mouth to chanyeol's poking tongue.

"i've missed you so much," he whispers.

"i missed you more," chanyeol groans, sucking on jongin's bottom lip.

"now, are you going to take me to my room and give me mind-blowing sex or not?" jongin asks.

"fuck yes i am." chanyeol picks jongin's legs up and wrap them around his waist to carry him into jongin's bedroom. he locks the door behind them before tossing jongin on the bed and ripping his clothes straight off.

they're both so turned on with the few days without sex that they barely last 10 minutes before chanyeol is burying himself deep inside jongin and coming. jongin moans at the feeling of chanyeol's hot release splashing against his walls and it makes him come as well, coating their chests in his release. he wraps his arms around chanyeol's shoulders and pull his head down to him, kissing him as their highs begin to subside.

chanyeol pulls out of jongin and lays down beside him, panting heavily with a stupid grin on his face.

"best. sex. ever," he breathes. jongin rolls his eyes but he agrees, it really was their best sex. he rolls over onto his side and lays a hand on chanyeol's chest, rubbing it with his fingers.

"thank you for being the best boyfriend ever for all the years we've been together," he says.

"no, thank you," chanyeol says. "if it weren't for you i wouldn't have been able to be the best boyfriend ever. i love you so much, jongin, and i will cherish you for the rest of our lives."

"you think we're going to be together forever, do you?" jongin asks, a teasing smile on his face. when chanyeol nods his smile grows and he reaches into his bedside table. "good, because i do, too."

he grabs the engagement ring he bought a few months ago and holds it out to chanyeol, enjoying the way his boyfriend's eyes widen in shock.

"park chanyeol," he starts. "i can't say i've loved you since i met you but i have loved you for the past two years of my life and i promise to love you for the next 60 or 70 years we have. you were so wonderful and patient while i was figuring out what i felt for you and i will forever be grateful for what you have given me. i love you so much, more than i ever have and ever will love another human, so i want to spend the rest of my life with you."

he takes a deep breath before taking chanyeol's hand in his and bringing it up to his lips. "will you marry me?"

chanyeol's sobbing at this point but he manages to nod and that's all jongin needs. he slides the engagement ring onto chanyeol's finger before pulling him in for a kiss.

"i love you so much," he whispers.

"i love you more," chanyeol replies. they kiss for a bit longer before finally putting some clothes on and making their way out to tell the other members the good news. jongin has his arm around chanyeol's waist, with the latter's over his shoulder, and he knows he will never be happier than in this moment with the man he loves.


End file.
